Childhood Memory

Ada sebuah kenangan di masa kecil yang cukup membekas di ingatan penulis.
Tentu saja, bila tidak tentu penulis tidak ingat.

Di waktu kecil, penulis cukup sering sakit dan ke dokter.
Di tempat praktek seorang dokter, penulis sedang menunggu dalam ruangan bersama dengan keluarga.
Ada seorang muda yang sakit (lupa gendernya, s/he) mendapat giliran lebih dulu.

Mungkin wajar bila dia diantar oleh keluarga yang khawatir dengan keadaannya.
Mungkin kelihatan sedih bila dia ke dokter sendirian.
Mungkin romantis bila ia pergi diantar pasangannya.

Tapi tidak!
Serombongan orang seumurannya, ada yang pria, wanita, entah ada yang transgender atau tidak, penulis kurang ingat, mengantarnya,
menemaninya ke ruang dokter, dan melakukan diskusi dengan sang dokter bersama dengan si pasien.

Tidak pernah sekalipun ia ditinggalkan sendirian.

Ada kemungkinan tindakan tersebut kurang mengesankan bila ia kecelakaan atau semacamnya, tapi ternyata diagnosisnya adalah penyakit yang umum, gejalanya pun hanya pusing dsb.

Sungguh menggetarkan adanya kepedulian sesama teman yang sangat besar di sekeliling sang pasien
Penlis yakin, sang pasien akan cepat sembuh, bukan hanya karena dokternya hebat, obatnya tepat dsb, tapi juga karena kehangatan yang ditunjukkan teman-temannya.

Hahaha, penulis juga kadang ingin merasakannya.
Berapa orang dari masyarakat modern saat ini yang memiliki hubungan pertemanan seperti itu?
Saat anda sakit, adakah teman yang bersedia meluangkan waktu untuk mengantar/ merawat anda sampai ke dokter dan setelahnya?
Jika ya, tolong, jangan sampai kehilangan mereka, dan bersyukurlah karena harta tersebut jauh lebih berharga dari kedudukan tinggi sekalipun.

Truth

I hear voices of lullaby
When whispers don't need to talk
that's when you'll hear the sound of the heart
And the heart,
tells the truth...

If I Love You

If I love you,
the sky would be so blue
the butterflies inside me
will float in ecstasy,
just thinking how my eyes
see you.

If I love you,
summer breeze would be around,
singing happily to the green leaf
after the brown
Time will stop,
I hope,
when your eyes meets
mine that time.
As my heart stops, when
you awe me, every time

If I love you,
I'd hope it will come true
That you would love me too,
feels like never wanting an end,
if I love you.

Nothing More

The simplest good bye
to most complicated feelings,
indeed so hard.
A laughter,
I'm just a shadow of the heart
A still ball in the courtyard.
Still, I'm nothing but a man

Possible

Mungkinkah kita bosan akan bintang
bila tiap mata memandang malam?

Mungkinkah kelapa hanyut
benci akan air laut?

Mungkinkah kau merindukan
orang yang selalu di dekatmu?

Flying Without Wings, Simple Life

Free yourself!
Jump off a window!
Chase the rising sun and
plunge to the Atlantic
deepest ground!
Fall off the jet plane
at the speed of sound!
Cry out your heart!

-flying without wings-

Life was a curious thing
One can bring forth tons of
question for life and
one won't truce in satisfaction
Life full of needs, too
It requires a tune to be a song
It requires understanding to get along
Some say life is wonderful
some say life is miserable
but one longing to be happy
in life
And I want to thank you
for you taught me what
happy is
so that I could live
a life,
and that is how
life simplified

-Simple Life-

So Long, And I Promise You No More, Tell Me How

Raining merry burning happiness
an ephemeral, not meant to last
Rivers turn red and dry the bones of the vultures

Brimming hopes and beaming smiles
a leaf grows anew
Dragging me and you, holding hands in hearts
of our own.
We just stick to moving on
Making friends with shooting stars and
pitch black night...
Did they see our history?
Greeting exchange with shadows and glances.
Only them, not anyone else.
Not only now, but eternally

-So Long-

Reap my heart out
dance on my head
sing the truth of my lies
Breach me
a hole in my liver
the whole rotten darkness
that shouts to everything
that cries for nothing

Nothing bout you..

You told me to move on with my life
how can I do that
for all my life, my world
is you...
It's just a black-massive hole
without you

-and I promise you, no more -


Tell me how to bring
a crumpled paper straight to its sleekness
How to shush those who are riotous
Tell me how the unforgivable gain forgiveness
while I'm just a reticence...

-Tell me how-

Enlightened Darkness

I called for the soothing breeze
right from upon a burning tree
Healing me from a blood night
that loms my own graveyard

The shadows of hope
and enlightened massacre
in a name they didn't
really know

Sincere grace of
rage only for
those who bow

Slashed by own guilts
Stabbed by own regrets
shot by own sins

And now he feels how
lonely a hole on a heart
can be

Kau dan Saya

Let me pick a star in the sky.
Just for you.
We'll slide playfully on a rainbow
til the end.
Just the two of us..
Waking up at green hills outside our palace,
we can make it.
You and I.

P A G I

May this good morning turns from a good night
Let the warm of sunlight be a beaming
smile of your lips, from this sunrise
to the edge of horizon. Day of happiness.
God bless...

-2007-

Most Good Night

This is the most good night poem
Maybe if not never you'll hear it seldom
Hope and wish
Gorgeous sky as your roof
with countless stars
and more shining dreams
in your sleepy groove!
Good night!

-2007-

Relentless Inappropriate Passion?

Why do we always compare things?
We do it without hesitation, not thinking
whether it is bad or good.

We humans are endlessly greedy,
We would even sell ourselves
for things better than we need.

Are those appropriate?
Because sometimes, that sole passion
drives human to greatness
or drives you crazy...

Do we really need that kind of passion to survive?
Is needlessness the true goal of every attemp of free life?
Of perfection?
Or is it just mortifying?
Living without need, without passion
without urges,
will we be more than mere leaves waiting for Fall?

Ilusi

No ropes to bind me
I'm free!!

Having conversation with the soft gust of the valley
exchanging words with you in the middle of the field of paddy
breaking a day we straighten our bodies on that bamboo plate
speaking of how beautiful you are when
your seriousness wipes my silly misbehaves.
Or what an idiot are we when playing billiard.

Engkau tertawa
Saat kukagumi sederhananya dandananmu
saat kukatakan nyamannya melingkarkan lenganku
di pinggangmu menenangkanku lebih dari musik klasik
Engkau menatapku dengan matamu yang tajam dan cerdik
jernihnya tawamu di dalam sorotnya membuatku selalu ingin melihatnya
lagi
dan lagi
setiap hari
kupatahkan ilalang dan kulingkarkan anyaman alam itu ke jarimu
berharap cincin sederhana itu bisa menenangkan
hati dan pikiranmu yang rumit
yang biasa tersembunyi
dalam sederhananya sikapmu
dalam senyuman bercahaya itu
dalam simpelnya keseharianmu

I watch the blue sky and be thankful in my beating heart
that i have that, that priceless key
a key to your heart

Sayangnya
Aku terbangun oleh diammu di sampingku
Dekat namun hati kita terpisah jauh

Crumbling, realizing
I'm captivated in an illusion

Silencium

Dalam diam kupandangi hari dan bulan berganti
cinta dan benci datang dan pergi

Dalam diam kupendam pedih dan gembira
sahabat dan saingan bolehlah
singgah dan berpisah

Dalam diam untung dan malang
menarikan tango yang erat dan panas
dalam hatiku, menjebak pikiran
dan mataku
di keindahan dan kediaman yang tak pantas

Dalam diam sikapmu
dingin angin musim bertiup lirih
saat kau tiadakan aku
dari harimu, dari hidupmu

Dalam diammu
kau
torehkan belati ketidakpedulian
membunuh sayang dan bahkan
kasihan

Masihkah ada di matamu
atau sedikit lintas saja di lamunanmu
aku
dalam diammu

aku mati tanpa benci

Bukan

Hentakan di kepala ini bukanlah ombak yang bergelora di pantai
Seraya aku melangkah dan menatap senja langit sore
Gemerisik dan gemeritik riang bersahut santai

Angin bertanya padaku penuh rasa ingin tahu
Bukan apa, bukan kenapa, tidaklah penting
di mana itu berada
Tapi siapa yang membuatmu berduka di tatap matamu?

Credo, Ergo, Ego

Silently the snake crawls between the fingers-like roots of the birch tree.
Under the pale silvery light of night,
its shadow as dark as the slithering beast itself.
His eyes watched carefully
as the wallowing in his heart kept pondering with the wind.
Slowly moving backward,
his hand crept at his cold metal with a hold,
waiting.

that beast came closer,
closer. Inch by an inch.
Quiet as the evening wind, their eyes met at last.
And he swung at that thing with his mere metal stick.
Hard! Harder!
Faster! Til his hand felt numb by the impact.
It's his life or its, easy for him to decide.

me iudice

and then, after the little thwack of commotion...
There was silence...

Death lingers around the man, blood of the misled snake
splattered everywhere.
Fear, had made him a monster.

It was the snake, he thought.
I was trying to kill the snake.
I accidentally killed my brother.

None of the village people would believe him, his mind wavered.

They saw all too well of the siblings quarrel the past few days.
How they arguing of the farm their father left for them in his demise.

But I said yesternight that I'll give all of it to my brother. I had stated my interest to that farm is no longer existent, that family and harmony comes first.

I told that in front of all to hear, for heaven's sake!

But, they won't buy it.
Why?
Although it was just an accident,
why would they believe me not?

I'm innocent...
I'm not guilty...

I'm sorry brother...

And he cried painfully to the hollow moon.

Years passed....

The brother who lived didn't live at all.
Mad, guilt ridden, he was banished from the village.
The farm was destroyed by war just moments before his return.
He tried too hard to gain something, he lost all.

Running as the mad man he was, he jumped of the cliff,
looking to hold his winged brother in an empty space before him.
The beautiful nature before that suicide cliff remains amazingly wonderful.

Nemo gratis mendax




Omnia mors aequat.....

Striking Lines

I thought you were the good guy...

(myself): I thought so, too

Save yourself a sliver of respect I still have of you
and don't make any lame excuses.

If you don't want me to hate you completely,
now go away
and stay away.

-bedtime stories, with slight changes-

Those comments are a stab in the heart coming from anyone
but mostly if coming from people who trusted you and loved you

Hopefully, you'll never get these words or get to say them.
It hurts,right?

You Must Not Be Afraid

In the morning I suddenly had this desire to write in this blog.
Hm, what should I say first, yeah.
I would say that today's gonna be tough. I'm gonna have some lengthy conversation with someone whom i respected and I don't wanna get any bad notations from that person.
That attitude, has made myself stuck in many troubles before. Yes! Some kind of unbased fear to disappoint others tend to slow us down.

So in this note I stated my latest state of mind,

I CAN disappoint others and learn how not to do it further, later.
I CAN stand up to something I believe is important, however small that is.
I must not be afraid of something trivial like debating someone i don't feel like arguing against. There are lots of people that has the courage to defend their opinion and importance, but don't have the chance to do so. I've not in that spot for many turns in my life, and i must be grateful, not afraid, to state my point of view.

DO NOT FRET!

GBU All

Dare

things i wanted, i just couldn't get

things i never thought would be mine, i just forget

even so, it's a ton of hatred more for me to regret

if you didn't come along and add

"i'll get you up, no matter what."

in this world full of uncertainties,
i will make it set.

at the end of my ropes, i just

for those words, i dare to bet.

and jump

Short Stuffs

It's not bad for your health
It's not hot to have either
sometimes when the roof seemed so thight,
you might think of using it:
The Short Stuffs!!

Somewhere
somewhere in the jungle
i'm looking for you,
but i'm nowhere in your heart
even if i do

Selalu Ada Alasan
Selalu ada alasan untuk membenci seseorang.
Tapi cinta kadang datang tanpa memakai peta,
dan sayang datang tanpa agenda

Tapi Tanpamu
Akan sampai ke mana dunia ini terbang?
Sampai cinta melompat riang?
Atau saat laut tak lagi menyentuh pantai?
Entah, tapi tanpamu
duniaku terbang tanpa sampai..

My Heaven and My Hell

Hey my heaven and my hell
stop stomping silently in my heart
for it’s beating faster than any bell
not knowing will the labor fit its worth

Hello my heaven and my hell,
please say goodnight so i can’t dream of
nothing beside you

please say anything
I can’t hardly wail about the silent air

you, my heaven on earth
and my reign of hell
be my dream and my air (my dream comes true and air that I breathe)
so in the darkness of night could I be
soothed til I’m sleeping tight
on the by of clouds up above,
t’was the grassy bed of meadow
down on earth

Why Is It

Why is it always you?
coming off the constellation
to save me from my midnight imagination?

Why is it always you?
telling me not to worry
about things while
all my nightmare days make me wary?

saying i'm here,
at my worst just like an errand
you flown me back
to smile

why is it always you?
in my dreams smile calmly,
even through the stormy evening
faithfully stating
it'll be alright

but why is it always me?
taking things one step too far?
so you flew
far away

Happy New Year 2009

Firstly let us thank God for we've seen the dawn of a new year.

A new year some said will be tougher
A year began in the middle of global economic crisis
A year of desperation
Some said what they said..

But since we know optimism brings something better than pessimism,

Let us say this instead,
in the midst of last year's chaos
this is a new year,
a year where we can start anew
an opportunity to atone for what we did, and after thinking, what we'll do

this is a brand new days to live in
a new page to fill
live and love this new year, as a year of hope.

GBU all

Waktu

This I made when i was at JHS.
I think it's interesting.

Waktu

Waktu,
begitu penting artimu
tanpa sangsi
kau begitu berarti
Walaupun engkau selalu bisu

dan engkau
seperti angin lalu
ada,
lalu tiada
muncul,
kemudian menghilang entah ke mana

Engkau wahai waktu
sungguh tak tentu
terkadang cepat tak terduga
kadang lambat tak terasa

Adakah engkau wahai waktu
memiliki perasaan?
berhatikah engkau?
terkadang kau keji tak terperikan
terkadang juga terasa murah tanpa batas
Sampai kapankah engkau
membiarkan awan itu ada
menutupi tabir kelam nasib manusia
kapan,
kapan engkau membiarkanku
menyingkap misterimu oh waktu.